1.28.2005

coldplay - trouble

declining. could it be possible to feel this defeated yet still have so much hope? i feel like everything sucks right now but then, im also perfectly fine.

hm.

i dont know why i do this. listen to music that doesnt help. coldplay doesnt even mellow me out anymore. it just kinda perpetuates the misery.

its about to be my absolute favorite month of the entire year, and yet again, the love of my life couldnt be any further away.

stressed out. & last to finish in lab at 10:15pm. a big loser. its creepy being on campus when its that dark out. not to mention an hour away from home. i nearly broke into a hysterical fit of tears on the way to my car last night. but i didnt. because there wasnt time. plus it was too cold. and i didnt have my coat on.

ah well. i just wrote someone who never fails with the words of encouragement. & thats life, right?

no body said it was easy ...


you all better have some clever lines in my birthday cards. im in need of some good pick-me-ups from you wonderful people.
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Edit: i cant stand to leave all pitiful. i love making you smile, besides whats an entry without a picture?

everyone's favorite neighborhood dog who runs around without his leash

scooter was due in for a hair-cut. you cant tell in the before picture, but his hair was beginning to become dread-locked at the roots. hahaha. we were going to do it in december while ryan was here, but the weather was getting cold and we thought it cruel to let scooter run around without his hair and shiver whenever he went out. haha ... so yeah, by last week, his hair was just unsavable and i brought him in to get it all shaved off. now he's at least 2 pounds lighter and runs around like a mini-pinscher. he makes the family laugh whenever he walks his naked little butt by. if this doesnt make you smile, you need something. bad.

love you and miss you all.

1.16.2005

gwen stefani - what you waiting for

wow.

so its about a good two weeks into the new year. complications with life/school explain why i havent had time for real posting. i thought fall semester was going by so slooooow but looking back at everything i got through, nothing seems as bad as it felt.

& i guess thats how everything turns out.

break was good. ryan's extra long visit (which of course, was not long enough!) was filled with some of the most amazing memories as well as a few that i'd rather forget ... but overall, the time with the love of my life was very well spent. we also had the chance to finally meet up with ivey in orlando. the reunion was awesome but semi-bittersweet at the same time since it was just not complete without everyone else. however, we didn't let all that get in the way of picking up where we all left off and laughing our asses off till 5 in the am.

PEANUT! butter!


PEANUT!! BUTTER!!



hahaha ... GOOD TiMES =)


school this semester is already pretty overwhelming. im taking a ton of science courses (bio principles, bio lab, lifeline, chem, chemical bonding, chem lab, & physical sci.) plus education measurement & evaluation, and college algebra - the biggest waste of time; i still cant believe this is required ... grrrr ... i still have all 8am classes, work from 2-6 AND night lab on tuesdays from 6:30-10:30pm = no Americal Idol watching for this sad one. keeping busy is what i do though. im so much better working under stress and feeling like im failing for 3 and a half months - kinda twisted, i know, but hey it works.

on top of all of that, im studying for the Florida Teacher Certification Exam in April. I know im taking it pretty early, but the sooner I do it, the sooner I'll be able to get some credited student teaching done in a middle or high school science class. I am soo excited about this!!

on saturday, we had our first NSCS meeting since last semester. we've planned quite a few service events that im looking forward to. its nice this time around because a lot of my friends in it are also bio majors so we have a lot of the same classes now. it eases the stress, somewhat, knowing that you'll always have other people to help you out.

CJ stayed home with me last night and we watched NBC's tsunami fundraising benefit. it was quite moving. we almost called to donate but i didnt have any money - thanks in LARGE part to $400+ on books (hey, when did everything get doubly more expensive anyways?!). talk about BROKE AS A JOKE! but yeah. (btw, jahara-san, it was a big relief to hear you & the fam cancelled plans to phuket just in time!) how crazy can life get, huh?

anyways, as i started out, it is a new year. i was never really one to make resolutions. im not usually ready to make them until my birthday anyhow. coz thats when my own personal new year begins (BTW, it is coming up SOOON! haha). but a lot of what i have been through in the past year/month/week has inspired me to become a better daughter/sister/girlfriend/student and most importantly, a beter HUMAN. so thats why ive taken the time to write these down and tape copies to my wall. and mirror. and dashboard. and glasses case.

1) talk to God more
2) use THANK YOU at home/to parents (waaaaay) more often
3) spend less (dont we all?!)
4) do a better job at keeping in touch
5) give out more compliments

we'll see how that goes ;)

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it was very nice hearing from everyone about how the holidays went! lisa put up the idea of hopefully meeting up for the next holiday season! i am all up for that! haha ... AND im volunteering ivey's new, huge, BEAUTIFUL house! heheheh ;)

rems sent these from the Bank of Guam Christmas Party. geeze, this girl, is STILL the sexiest, yeah? =)

Ayden pimpin in his Burberry

the always and ever so beautifuls franchesca & rembow



ives, i havent tried back yet. but youll definitely be the first i call coz it requires no time zone reconfiguration on my part! hehehe! rems my love, pictures of THE most handsome SiLLYbaby is always a treat! hope he's feeling better!! Bisa, it sounded like you & kev had a blast! oh yeah, i never got the chance to ask: how did he take it when michigan LOST to texas anyways?! haha, me and ryan were cracking up thinking about how YOU jinxed it for his team!! =Þ Jenna, send me your number or something!!! I want to talk to you! i miss you so much and hope that you dont feel ive forgotten about my favorite white island-girl! get in touch soon k? Mench, im not sure if youre mom told you i called. at the gym AGAIN huh?! hahaha, i miss you, take it easy. & SHAY! you owe me like a 3 month old email you nerd. i think i sound retarded in answering machines. so ignore my message and just CALL dammit!

it is nice being back here. it is even cooler to know people are still keeping up. life is good. and i am amazed at how beautiful everyone continues to get. now im off to clear out some confusion and get to emailing (as if i didnt have enough to say already in this humongous entry!). have a good 3-day weekend all!

HAPPY MLKJr. DAY!


love you and miss you all!