[ DEAR JENNA ] that boat ride was the most awesomest thing ever! yep, i was scared out of my ass before i even left land because of that pier and how it was floating and shit. then i looked at the water and remembered that i can't swim for shit. the ride itself was different ... totally dismisses my plans for using the motion of the ocean ... haha ... but yeah once we the dolphins came around and we went on the bow, i loosened up a bit and couldnt believe how amazing it was. seeing the whales and dolphins light RiGHT-FRiGGiN-THERE was incredible! i wished they did tricks for us though ... haha ... rachelle was making fun of me for wanting that. the food was really good too! thats the best kelaguen everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! when we pulled into that little secluded area, it was cool. at least i could walk around without having to hold on to someone. i so wanted to jump off the top of the boat but yeah that whole can't swim thing kicks in again. so calvo pulls the banana boat up and reaches out for my hand. being the retard that i am, i think he's trying to help me on it so i get on. then he's struggling coz he wanted me to pull him in so the banana boat could be closer and everyone else can get on. haha ... that was funny. then it was girls vs. boys and the banana boat is already pretty far ... james grabs my arms and is trying to throw me off and kev and ivey are screaming "Don't! Don't!" and james reminded kev that he wasn't on the girls team and kev was like "Marj can't swim!" and james just stops and with a serious face, he's all "Oh my gosh, I almost killed Marj!" ... haha ... that was fun ... so we get back on the boat after so many truces (& cici breaking them) ... ate and chilled at the top of the boat. being on the boat wasnt after being out in the water wasnt so pleasant ... i was feeling the sickness in my tummy - ryan even threw up - twice! but i kept eating. coz i do that. man shay! you shoulda skinny-dipped or something! just so we both coulda looked retarded in life jackets together! but yeah we were headed back and afterwards they whipped out the alcohol and we just chilled at nimitz beach - even baskwill did. thanks for such an awesome time jenna! when we came home, sheila chilled and we just sat on the couch watching tv, saying nothing due to exhaustion. we sat there for 15 minutes watching this documentary on sea turtles. after a while, we just looked at each other - seasick again - and changed the channel. haha ...

[ DEAR REMY ] that was the most sweetest ceremony ever! at first i was kinda like, oh man, they're planning grad to be as short as possible but then in the end, im glad it turned out that way - short&simple, straight to the point. dude i was stressing out over that cd. i had all the song the night before and all i needed to do was get the songs off of james's cd but when i put his cd in my comp, it just crashed. and i started to freak out so i called ryan and he called karlo coz he's a computer genious. he said he couldnt fix the computer (it was already 9:30pm) but that he'd download the songs. so i sent james's cd to school with joy to give him and when we got to navy at 3 for grad, we went to his house to check if he was done with the songs - turned out he didnt even start on the cd so we were there waiting, panicking as he downloaded everything. he wasnt helping so i got mad and we left coz it was already 3:50. i said the best we could do was give instructions to the guy to use 2 different discs for the songs. maaaaaan ... that was so frustrating - for a second there, we didn't have any graduation songs at all. yep, the speeches were the best. man ... calvo is such a funnyman. im so gonna miss him! & im so glad he's our valie!! as for sallie, i woulda voted for you ives!!!! dude, baskwill's speech was crazy. i was already crying from the beginning of the ceremony because i'd look at the program and everytime i get to the section that said "Baskwill's Farewell Address", I'd just break down ... geeze, it was really heart touching coz he personalized it - SUPER-FRiGGiN-COOL-PEOPLE - thats our thing. man, i was in tears. then david matthews, that retard, started bawling next to me ... i couldnt help but hug him and laugh and cry some more! haha ... during the parent appreciation, i went to my mom and saw that shay had sat with my family. that felt really good considering my dad couldnt be there. i was just hugging my mom for the longest time. everything around me was so blurry ... shay was just there taking pictures of me crying. haha ... so ryan came over and hugged my mom and gave me a flower ... and all of a sudden we were split. so i just went around looking for people to hug. your momma found me and gave me a kiss and a little bear - thanks! then i was going back to my seat and found you! haha ... yeah i was tripping over my robe while i went over to you for hugs and kisses! haha ... sorry bout that ... in the end, there was that beautiful rainbow! how perfect huh? pictures for like 30 minutes and after we met up with ryan's family, ivey, karlo's fam, and the baltazar's at lonestar. it was one long night ... im so glad we made it! wow ... you're lucky you got a second chance a prom ... im glad you got to spend it the right way ... i was gonna check out the palace just coz i told kev and shay i'd like to see you guys and take pictures of you beautifuls but i woke up super late ... so don't forget to send me some pics! (by the way, i have my address, i'll be sure to give it to you guys before i leave) ... yep ... life is busy right now. our second pack out is in a few days ... my mom wants me to have a last minute grad party but i could live without one ... especially since she's so stressed with work and moving without my dad here. come by the hotel next week ... the info will come later. oh oh oh!!!!! shay might visit! i told her you should go too! after grad, have a little mini vacation ... her plan was to shop in cali a few days ... then the trip from there to florida is only $200 - cheaper if you go e-ticket style. our new house will be ready by then and we could have soooo much fun!!!!!!! aaaaaahhhhh ... can't wait to see you guys again! we still need to takes pics soon! miss you!

[ DEAR LiSA ] hey chick! long time no hear?! so whats been up? i heard about the boyfriend! of course i would have eventually, you know our friends ... so give me the details! better yet pictures! i finally took the plunge too and cut my hair. it was really annoying, not to mention hot so yeah ... its gone ... im happy. so ill be in cali from the 6th to the 12th in san diego. email me your address & phone number asap coz my computer is gone in a few days. whens your grad? happy (early/belated)congrats! it feels so good to have that tassle turned ... you just dont know it yet! maaaaaaan ... having nothing to stress over is so liberating! hmmmm ... so yeah ... i know i'll be seeing you soon, one way or the other. miss you!

[ HAPPY THOUGHTS ] coldplay's clocks is my new favorite. they gave us a totally new computer coz the "new" one crashed again.

oh lord.

in one week:

prom happened

spent a wonderful night at the westin with the crew

i got in a fight with my mom

made her happy again because (next)

NHS inductions (haha ... *crossing my eyes*)

i was named female student of the year @ the awards ceremony

less than a week after that:

we had our beautiful baccalaureate ceremony

we sang "In Moments Like These" & "Celebrate Youth"

took pictures pictures and more pictures!

i felt all generous and bought joy some shirts

grad practice was fun

ate at pizza hut

& dan's baby is the cutest!

stayed after school twice after school was done. i know right, WTF?

stressed one last time over the graduation CD ...

but me and ryan managed to make it in time (10 minutes before grad)

& i was freaking out. apologizing to mr. baskwill in a frantic, cuss-filled rant

i got over my dad not making it

cried through the best graduation speeches ever (baskwill & calvo)

took a top 12 placement, wtf?!

my diploma says - with honors, oh shit, what classes did i take to deserve that?

i looked into the faces of some people i will never see again

& hugged them like i didnt want to let go

& finally turned the tassle

see you at the grad parties!

[ LOVE YOU ALL ] everything went by so quick. im glad it did though. this year was soooo much fun. i feel like i've grown so much in this past year alone. i will never forget it. i will never forget you. i wish this could last forever ... but it's been great.

here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well.

haven't done this in a while.

[ PROM ] prom was ugly. the theme was something tropical-like? and the decorations were fishnets. They even had sorry ass stickers of parrots on the wall. it was funny. me and mads spent the entire day getting ready. ok so my hair took 30 minutes ... mads's took 3 hours ... my makeup and ivey's put together took about 20 minutes each ... mads's alone took another 3 hours. so while we were waiting for her to get done, ivey drove home to wait for chris and mel dropped me off at the Westin so i could meet up with ryan's mom. she saved the day and got us all checked in - 3 rooms total ... and she was making me read the liability statements and tell everyone else not to trash the place. so she helped me drop everyone's stuff to their own rooms and i got ready. meanwhile, my mom came by to drop off the boutonnière and ryan's mom talked to my mom for a while which totally made life easier for me! *man, i love his mom!* so ryan came by in the hottie-hot-hot celica but we had to wait another two hours for mel and mads to be ready before we could leave. so when we walk in, the place is so small, there's not enough tables, the lights are all on, there's no music and everyone's basically done eating. thankfully lauren and john let us sit at their table ... we ate and after we ate, everyone was still just sitting around. rumors went around that there would be no dj. in fact, before we arrived, they were passing around a hat for donations to hire a last minute dj. so we went in line for pics and we were waiting forever there coz the photographer was late too. and Drink Till She's Pretty (rock on!) played right when it was our turn so i left my place in line real quick to check them out coz they were playing No Doubt's Sunday Morning - the pictures ended up taking a while (i dont know why?!) and we ended up missing a lot of they're set =(. the DJ finally came and things got better ... they turned off the lights so at least the horrible decorations were less noticeable. got the first official dance time with ryan all year! finally, huh babe? we had to leave real quick coz rem told me sheila was waiting at the westin by herself. we snuck her into prom and i know she had fun. it ended all abruptly ... caught up with the crew to decide what now ... we all went back to the room (dragging calvo along) ... and changed. checked out the parties at the ohana ... those rooms were ugly ... and zo wanted to stay there! but we had to stop by shimizu's coz he's leaving ... man im gonna miss him ... coz he was weird. stayed there for like 10 minutes. it was only less than an hour after prom and some people were already falling over. crashed lashonda's party after that ... hmmm ... the calculus boys sittin around playing cards, telling calculus jokes was not fun. said hi to chado and bri-o then ditched. those parties were definitely overrated. so we went back to the hotel and went swimming till 4am which turned out to be the funnest part of the night. said our goodnights aroun 5 and me and ryan went to our room. i had to get up after 3 hours coz of church on Mother's Day. we rang the other room's bell and finally ivey opened all squinty eyed. everyone in there was still knocked out. she was complaining about how she got the snoring room! haha ... i was surprised to still see sheila there coz she was supposed to go to work. we went to get them breakfast and when we got back, mel and mads was there too trying to mess with the sleepyheads. zo woke up and laughed coz he was awake the entire time ... he just didnt want to get up and made ivey answer the door. he lined up the floor with pillows to make his bed. said goodbye and ryan brought me home. all in all, the night was fun. everyone looked good too! my favorite was alonzo who was all decked out in Gucci! =) we always manage to make a crappy dance turn into fun with friends ... so yeah, it was cool. this was my dress. i kept getting, "you look like princess jasmine!" compliments all night ... that was fun.

[ bBALL ] so they lakers are out! yeah, finally! haha ... i dont care who wins ... just as long as it wasnt them ... again. by the time i finish this gigantic entry, i'll know the result of the Kings vs Mavs game so stay tuned! speaking of sports ... we had our banquet the other night. that was a huge one for all 4 quarter sports. it lasted about 3 hours. CONGRATS TO JENNA!! for finally getting Athlete of the Year!!!!! woohoo! that was fun ... i was hungry. very hungry. hungry enough to eat Lily's catered food(!) oh oh oh! and i met dan's baby for the first time! he's so freaking cute!!!!!! aaaaahhhh! i just wanted to wake him up and play with him!!!! hahaha ... the soccer chicks got the coolest trophies ever! they deserve it too! the only thing that was sorta annoying about the night was when mr. mac read a story for each JV bBALL player ... it woulda been cool if it didnt take so long ... but it did ... and there were only like 5 players who were actually there. me and karlo took the decoration lettuce-carrot-flower thingy from the kelaguen arrangement. we're cool like that.

[ GOING OUT WITH A BANG ] we had our awards ceremony too. it was weird. baskwill snuck me out to the set-up where me and ivey acted like we were part of it all. haha ... beats being in school -or so i thought. ms. tyrrell warned us immediately: "Let me remind you why we are here. We are here to acknowledge our student's academic achievements. We are not here to party. If I see anyone appearing as if they're having fun, I will ask you to leave. Is that understood." so the entire time we didn't smile. that was funny. so when people started arriving, we took our seats ... and they called out all the awards ... and i didnt get any! haha ... till the one for keeping up a high GPA. and the last one of the entire show, the student(s) of the year. i knew kevin had the male spot in the bag and i had thought ives would seriously get it ... they called my name and all the guys around me was like "ooooOOOOOoooooHHHHHhhh!" ... haha ... it was cool ... i was about to cry coz i was in shock and i thought so many other deserved it. so i was up there and zo and ryan were at the front of the stage taking pictures and zo is yelling out "Ryan loves you!" ... and somewhere from the crowd i heard "I love you marj" and i looked out and found my sister right away *(she was sitting in the exact middle of the entire theater)* and waved at her. that was cool. i saw my mom there at the end and she was all hugging me and getting teary and shit so i cried like retard. she knew the entire time ... hmmm ... what a sneaky ... and it all makes sense now ... all these teachers were talking to me all week ... teachers i didnt know knew me and even hollister was making the NHS stoles such a big deal ... thanks ... awww man, but it felt so good coz this is it. it the end from here on out. baccalaureate is tonight. im excited coz we finally get to wear our robes ... graduation is in a few days. and the best thing about that is my dad gets to be here!!!!! NO ONE KNOWS HOW FUCKING MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME! im excited for the day to finally come. im not that sad anymore. i am so ready. and i am so proud of our friends ... everyone got something ... everyone should be proud of themselves.

[ SAD THOUGHTS ] i dont usually do a sad thoughts segment because well, i really dont like making people sad but im gonna do it anyways. people doing countdowns for me ... why the hell would i want my last days on guam be countdowned? haha ... spotting & not knowing ... yearbook signing. being paranoid coz you thought you lost someone's yearbook (sorry kev!!). 12 years of school: ending. missing the graduation parties ... DAMMIT! the kings just lost. =(

[ HAPPY THOUGHTS ] turned in English research paper. finished my big 6 project early with chad coz we're tards who didnt realize that it wasnt due till next week. frozen yogurt. pictures with my baybeh. haircuts. zo: MARJ iS NiCE LiKE THAT! ryan's volleyball tourney today. CJ's graduation on the 27th. possibly getting to see bisa soon. possibly getting to see karlo who just might be my first guam visitor this summer in florida. By the way guys, i have an address now ... remind me to get it to you. oh and YOURE ALL INVITED TO SPEND SPRING BREAK AT MY PLACE! *party at marj's!* haha ... HELL YEAH ... & STUDENT OF THE FUCKING YEAR AWARDS! hahaaaaaaaa! love you all!

I love the fishes coz they're so delicious ...

i coulda swore it was just yesterday ...
rest in peace, my friend.

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired.
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth.
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
and murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen.
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
said, Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve.
The rich relationed hometown queen
Married into what she needs
A guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly.
Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebentures of quality
And dubious integrity.
Their small town eyes will gape at you
in dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen.

-Janis Ian

[ CRASH ] mel's visiting. the past week has been fun/stressful. didn't get into the spirit until Wednesday. Hopefully people get dressed up for tomorrow. got my belly button pierced. its really hurting right now ... hmmmm ... is that normal? i couldnt watch them stick the needle in ... mads and mel did ... it hurt for like a few seconds while the needle was in ... it hurt more after ... its hurts a lot today. still getting used to it, i guess. it matches my dress! haha! whoa man ... spur of the moment decisions ... ive done my crazy thing this year. its hurts. im a wimp. blah. no happy thoughts right now. ryan hugged me too hard. im at school. the computer crashed. again. love you. miss you.

[ DELTA FORCE ] the eigth graders came to school yesterday. me and kyle had to be there for their orientation and talk to them about clubs and organizations available. they were being punks and seemed uninterested. the only thing everyone was concerned about was freshman friday. so when the questions kept coming in, me and kyle did our thing and scared them about it. we wanted to take it further with a - and since today is friday, you'll only be lucky if we don't consider you freshmen yet. so we had to tour them around. i got this retarded little group of pre-pubesant boys - everytime we went by a classroom they were like, "Oh my god, look at that girl, she's fo-ine!" haha ... whatever ... so we had to bring all thing little kids to the front where they would meet their bus but it wasnt there yet so we had them waiting in the parking lot. all of a sudden, this motorcard comes by (JFK or Sanchez?) and starts honking their horns and throwing eggs in the grass. kyle was trying not to make anyone panic so he was like, don't worry guys, thats just our friends from public school. we have really close relations with them. they like to come by once in a while to leave gifts. so they bought it and they started smiling at the cars and waving at them. this chick and her friend in the back of the group weren't listening to kyle and one asked the other: what's going on? and the other girl was like Oh, it's like a parade. so they start smiling and waving too. dude i thought the motor cade was on coming back on its second round coz suddenly the sound of big engines revving up was in the background ... but it was the Delta Force to the rescue! haha ... damn those buses were hauling ass forreal trying to get the to entrances of the parking lots - (if they decided to make any moves, they buses could trap them in like they did that one year) ... haha ... THANKS DELTA FORCE!

[ SPRAiNS ] me and ryan hung out at navy after school. did some errands before north tip ... ordered a corsage. then met up with everyone at the gam.e turns out that joy had sprained her ankle right before JV started. she's such a dork. pick up games are a no no ... haha ... the crew came by to see her play ... haha ... CJ has some jokes when he's around the guys. seeing him messing around with the boys like that makes me wish they were around for him more often. the girls are in the championship! woohoo! i think the boys are are supposed to be coming back early. its a shame how when they do get back, they're gonna act like the whole thing was so cool. the whole school thought it was embarassing to be part of GHS when they heard that.

[ HAPPY THOUGHTS ] watermelon gatorade ice. new layouts everywhere. unexpected fire drills during boring classes. SOCCER shoes - right mahcus? watching movies at home with the girls all day. Dumb Girls - Lucy Woodward. previewing movie trailers on msn. Prom in 1 week.

[ SLEEP ] it's raining again. i think it has been for the most part of my/the day. i finally figured out what i'm gonna do for my Java project. yipee ... ot was only due like, 3 weeks ago? love the whole teacher-in-germany thing. it slept the entire way home. i almost didnt want to wake up. the bus driver offered to drop me off at my house since it was raining.

[ YUMMMmm ] yesterday in the teacher's lounge, kyle started sing a song and i was like, whoa, i havent heard that in a while! so its been stuck in my head ever since and i just downloaded it! haha ... its all about the money ... its all about the dum dum da dee dum dum. karlo and ryandale (hey, i know her *haha*) went to GPO during 3rd and picked me up some grub. haha ... that was a deeeelishus one.

[ HAPPY THOUGHS ] You know the world is going crazy when ... The best rapper is a white guy. The best golfer is a black guy. The tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese. The Swiss hold the American Cup. France is accusing the US of arrogance. Germany doesn't want to go to war. The 3 most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon' ... thanks Elle for the forward!